Goofy Goober (<---yes I am a link, click on me)

"So I have this skrit... purple and gray horizontal stripes. I love it. I used to love it, anyways. It ties in the front, in the height of the belly. Very cute. It has two thin gray strings that tie in the front and keep some portion of the skirt hanging over them so that they dont show. The skirt is elastic and can stretch a lot but is really tight.

So I wear it one day to go to my friend's house. On my way I think of stopping at the grocery store to get some yogurt for me and fmy riend. Oh yeah we love yogurt. Instead of devouring ice-cream we made this deal to buy yogurt instead. And it works.

So back in my story. I am walking towards the grocery store. I walk up the zillions of stairs of the complex where the grocery store is. I push the door to open. I hold it with my left hand to facilitate the people behind me. I keep walking straight till I reach the entrance of the grocery store. I smile at the security guard who kept on starring at me since I was in the hallway holding the door. "It must be my cute skirt" I think to myself, "cause it makes my long tanned legs look really sexy. And hello, Ive always had guys starring at me wherever I go, so...get over it girl".

Not to sound cocky or anything, but its sort of true. I am taller than the average, have long hair, long legs, cute face, cute smile, strong upper body. No I dont look like a model cause if I did, I wouldnt have time to blog right now. I am an above average looking girl, "a big cute person" its how my afro-american guyfriend calls me.

So yeah, a security guard is starring like a dog, no big dealeeo. I keep on walking down the aisle, I pass the candy section, the can and oil section, ("why is this old guy with his wife and kid on the side looking at me"), now its the dry food section, the clothing section (where I should have stopped) and now I am on my way to the fresh food section. "What is wrong with these people, this girl was starring as if she never saw a tall person before".

Yeah, I get that wherever I am: in the metro, bookstore, at the doctors office, in the grocery store. On the left I see meat and fishhhh... on the right ...milk and butter... and an old creepy beer-belly guy whose eyes are stuck on my private lower area. And oh! finally! here is the dairy section. I make four big steps and I am right infront of the fridge with all the yogurts. Heaven!

I am taking my time. I want to choose the best-tasting, yet low-calory and low-price ones. This should be fun. I start by taking a quick look at the tabs with the price. $6,99 for 12x100gr, $4,75 for 1x750gr, $3,59 for 2x250gr...... I hold each one of the products in my hands to check for the fat, calories, sodium, vitamins... The old creeper with the beer stomach is still standing right next to me and it seems that he hasnt taken his eyes off my lower private area.

"What the heck. Hes in a damn grocery store what is wrong with all these pervs nowadays" I think to my self while giving him the dirtiest look Ive ever given to a person. I keep on starring back while having my left eyebrow up and my right hand holding my waist. "Oh yeeeeah you pig, you feel embarrassed now??" I am thinking. The guy turns around obviously annoyed. I turn around too. I need to go back to my little yogurt research but "aaghhh I just cant believe how some people can be! He is freaking 80 years old, he probably has a wife, kids, grandkids, a dog and a cat and its possible he has great-grandkids as well"

"And he has the balls (he probably cant feel them anymore) to stare at a female who probably has the same age as his grandchildren. Wow!". So I am trying to find the yogurt I was holding before the pervert annoyed me. Where did I leave it? Ah here it is! I reach down to get it but my eyes catch something else, much more interesting: my crotch which is hanging out of my skirt! No wonder why I thought I was getting thaaat many people starring at me today. (read the following with sarcasm:) How sexy and attractive they must have thought I was eh..! All people who saw me wandering down the... candy, can and oil, dry food and clothing section. Oh my goooodness where do I go to hide, I dont want these yogurts anymore, I want my dignity back!!!

ps. I want to thank that old creepy beer-belly grandpa who tried to give a hint of what was going on down there. Thanks again, old creepy guy.